ARRIVALS

Kipanga                        Tanzania, Lake Tanganyika                    Population:  100   

      

We arrive, like ancient travellers, in a handmade wooden boat. The guys paddle as I scoop out water that is leaking through holes plugged with thread.  Men and women come down to greet us. Children scatter in all directions, terrified by our ‘umzungu’ faces. The fishing rods cause much confusion, and are examined closely. Spotting a hook one man realises their use, his face lights up and he excitedly tells the rest. Hand gestures, touching, ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’; the fishermen are thoroughly impressed.

The village itself has nothing. Just a shop with spares for boat motors.  Asking for food, we’re pointed back to the village we just came from. Too tired to paddle back we decide we’ll rather starve and set up camp on the pebbly beach.

Kipanga means ‘Hawk’ in Swahili.

Nairobi                         Kenya, Capital City                   Population 3.2 million (2009 census)

We bundle off the bus onto littered streets. 2am. Starving. Cold. We walk and find a 24hour Chicken & Chips joint. A huge portion of chips is only 55 Kenyan Shillings, about six bucks. We each have two.

Back to the bus, and the driver allows us to spend the night in it. He takes the prime five-seater back row and stretches out. We’re left uncomfortable, crammed on double seats, but at least off the street. In the morning we wake to a completely different city, except for the bustling Chicken & Chips joint. Business as usual.

The name "Nairobi" comes from the Masai phrase Enkare Nyrobi, which translates to "cold water".

Sumbawanga     Tanzania, capital of the Rukwa Region    Population: 150 000 (2002 census)

                        

It’s a mission. Not merely a manner of speaking, but literally. We’re directed by an over excited receptionist to the head nun’s office. Slipping away the empty beer bottles the Sister gives us a triple room for the price of a single.

Jordan’s slops break. His bare feet create a scene. Being barefoot here is a sign of poverty and madness. Trying to preserve his dignity, everyone in the town rushes to get him shoes, mainly slops... bright green, red, yellow, pink or orange. One or two offer him closed shoes, even some nice leather ones. We’ve learnt on our travels that closed shoes are useless. His refusal creates pandemonium, so he settles on a pair of red slops.

Sumbawanga literally translates to “through a way you are witches”. It stems from local superstitions and practices relating to spiritual healers in the surrounding smaller.

Giza                   Egypt, Pyramid City                Population 2.5 million (2006 census)

Tourist central. We’re hustled into a Lebanese restaurant and seated at a laden table. Breads of all kind, towers of grapes and other fruits I’ve never seen. Dates, olives, jams, cheeses, wine bottles, even Champagne. Our waitress is a Lebanese girl in skimpy clothing. I pull out my wallet. Empty. Say, “We have no money” and we’re hustled out onto the street.

Back to the train station we each find a concrete bench to spend the night on. In the morning we’re taken for breakfast by two young policemen. Chickpea falafels in pita bread with cucumber and sweet tea. They’re fascinated by us and want us to meet their families. We have a train to catch and regret our leaving.

“When the Muslims opened Egypt, they crossed the Nile to the other side from this area so they called it ‘giza mubaraka’. A blessed crossing of the Nile. Since then the area is called Al Giza” – Ahmed (Our host who robbed us.)

Dar es Salaam       Tanzania, formerly Mzizima        Population 1.3 million (1988 census)

We are stranded. We sit and talk to truck drivers at the Tunduma border. They club together and buy us bus tickets to Dar.

“We are all men here,” says Ali, “sometimes we have financial tightness. We are pleased to help you; some day you will do the same.”

We’ve organised to meet Charl, who’s somehow connected to a friend back home. He’s a South African expat working in the mines, settled in the exclusive Peninsula area near the well known Holiday Inn. The trip has taken thirty two hours and we arrive smelly and dirty in our holey shirts.

 Jordan and Robs try to surreptitiously change their clothes on the lush lawn outside the Holiday Inn. We’re so out of place. They have wet wipe baths and drown themselves in deodorant. I decide against it. I don’t want to make a scene in front of the hotel, and think a hardcore Afrikaner working on the mines will be impressed with our roughing it anyway. He’s an accountant and I feel sheepish as I climb into his impeccably clean Land Rover, and slide along its smooth leather seats.

Dar es Salaam is an Arabic phrase meaning ‘haven of peace’.

Addis Ababa                Ethiopia, Capital          Population estimate 4.1 million (2013)

A sprawling metropolitan slum. Marketo Sub city bus rank. A seething mass of outstretched limbs reach up to the bus. Coffee, mealies, fruit, pens, handkerchiefs.

Outside the bus a porter tells us we should not be here. We pull our rain covers over our bags, protection against opportunistic thieves, and go get some lentil samoosas.

Addis Ababa means "New Flower" in the African language of Amharic.

Isiolo            Kenya, Eastern Province, Isiolo county         Population 140 000 (2009 census)

We’re having a taxi swap over. The drivers stand in a huge circle and pray for protection on the road.  The prayer is led by a man in a fancy suit with a fat Bible. It’s loud and in some local dialect. We agree with Amen’s.

Meaning of Isiolo unknown.

Kapiri Mposhi          Zambia, close to the DRC border           Population: 200 at a guess

We’re dropped at a petrol station where trucks often refuel. A crossroad where we can get lifts to our next destination.  Inside, there’s a TV and we watch the last 20 minutes of Tottenham vs QPR. It feels like home. We also watch the chickens. All in a row, brown and glistening, turning slowly on the rotisserie.

Outside we dodge the oily patches on the ground and prop ourselves up against a wall, out of the wind. We pull out our sleeping bags for warmth. Africa is big and it’s sky wide. The petrol station is small and I’m small in the petrol station.

Women nearby are selling bananas and peanuts, still dirty in their sandy shells. They give us some. Thank you. For supper.

I don’t know the meaning of Kapiri Mposhi. But it sounds kind.

Wadi Alfa      North Sudan, on the shores of Lake Nubia       Population: next to nothing

The old Jackie Chan film ends in perfect unison with our journey. It’s subtitles told a different story. The doors open, heat rushes in. I’ve lost my sun glasses and the glare of the white sand hurts my eyes. It’s not quite what we expected. Jackie Chan doesn’t get the princess and she’s stolen by his nemesis. I’m so thirsty and the cold water tastes like sand.

A wadi is a river in North Africa or Arabia. A river which is dry except in the rainy season. Alfa I don’t know. Perhaps it is the name of a famous local.

Awassa              Ethiopia, The Great Rift Valley                 Popluation 150 000 (2007 census)

Everywhere is expensive, except one place.

The women at the door look excited to see us.

 It doesn’t last long. 

We do not seek companionship.

Meaning unknown.

Marsabit                     Kenya, southeast of the Chalbi Desert        Population: minimal

It’s pouring and I need to pee. I climb out the back of the truck, my back stiff from sleeping against its cold metal sides. The roads potholes are filled with water and reflect the lights of nearby buildings. A hand gestures from a nearby hotel.

I watch TV with Peter for half an hour. I must call him when I’m home, he says.

What I learnt from Google, Wikipedia:

 Originally, Marsabit was popularly known as Sokorte. The name Marsabit was given by English explorers who went through the area using landrovers. Popular inhabitants, the Rendille, used to call it Sokorte or Haali dayan. Trekking across the drylands, white explorers describe where they were coming from by pointing fingers to the mountains saying 'Mars a bit" which means high and cool - an old English word. The local residents didn’t pronounce it well, and hence 'Marsabit' was picked up from there. Others claim the name is from the Amharic word 'Marsa bet'; Meaning Marsa's home/house. Marsa was a farmer brought to Marsabit from Mega, in Ethiopia, by the Consul to assist in the consolidation of farming and permanent settlement on the slopes of the mountain.

Kiwengwa                   Zanzibar                       Population: 10 people

Jordan is excited. He’s going to see Shaka, a guy he met on last trip. We walk down the path Jordan remembers, turn around the corner and are greeted by a plot of over grown weeds. Shaka’s hut is gone.

A bunch of high Rastas smoke under a palm roof shelter. They invite us in. They say we can stay wherever we like. Montera, the one with a glorious mane of dreads, recognises Jordan and says he knows where Shaka stays. He’ll call him. His wife left him after the fire and he makes curios on the beach. He’s a beach boy now. They’re famous for sleeping with foreigners, especially the Italians. Montera actually has a kid in Italy who he’s going to visit soon. Shaka says he’s looking for a white lady too now.

The meaning of Kiwengwa went up in smoke.

Chuma                    Zambia, Large informal settlement of about 2000 people

MacNully had picked us up, and after an eight hour journey we were considered friends, so we had to stay over at his house. He laughs at how poor we are. We fetch his son and daughter from school. Chando’s big brown eyes watch our every move. Mbulelo is told by her father to practice her English with us. “Hello, ‘ow are you?”, “Mayi name is Mbulelo. I am nian years old”, ”My fayvorite subject is Science”, “You arah welcome in owah place”.

We’re given bread and tea for supper. A new margarine is brought and opened especially for us. Chando and Mac each have four table spoons of sugar in their tea. Only men sit at the table. Chando is clearly Mac’s favourite child.

In the morning a chicken is thrown in our room to wake us up, and once we’re up, we’re proudly paraded around the dusty streets of Mac’s village, taking the long route back to where his truck is parked.

Chuma. A place where the streets have no names.

Dar es Salaam to Disappointment: Part 5

We arrived in Nairobi after the “twenty-four” bus took us a casual thirty-two hours, a lot better than the bus we passed coming in the opposite direction who were forty-nine hours in and only half way. Counting our blessings we set off for Karen district to meet our hosts, the Warren family, who we had been put in contact with via the grape vine. It was great to be part of a family again whilst waiting for our Visa’s to be processed, enjoying good food and good company.

It’s funny how on long, ‘hard’ trips like these your standards drop so significantly that even the smallest of comforts feel like a heavenly experience. Something like a bucket bath after a long dusty journey feels like you’re in some crystal clear pool and if you’re lucky enough to get a shower head, you feel like you’ve hit an absolute jackpot, as if you’re now standing in a crystal pool with a waterfall. Thus, staying in a beautiful house with hot water, hot meals and warm beds felt like we were kings in a castle; a total contrast to our last two weeks of travel.

Kings and castles aside, it seems like everywhere we go drama follows us, although I suppose that’s more Africa itself than anything else. Though we weren’t actually right in the thick of it, there were huge riots in the city centre about MP’s pay rises on top of already ridiculous salaries. The strikes were labelled ‘Occupy Parliament’ and pigs were brought in, one of which was slaughtered and its blood used to paint names of officials on the other pigs. What added to the shock factor (whether intended or unintended) was the savage cannibalism which the pigs displayed as they veraciously devoured their fallen comrade on the steps of parliament… truly symbolic?

Listening to the radio in a taxi on our way out of Nairobi the next morning was an absolute treat, comical to say the least, and I was left rather bummed and disappointed when the drive ended. The DJ kept saying, in his deep, gruff and typically East African accented voice, “now we know that the strikes were necessary, and I am in support of the strikes, but was the manner, and that is the question we are discussing, was the manner in which they were conducted distasteful? We are talking about the manner in which the strikes were conducted.”

As for the responses, they were absolutely delightful. A young lady called in first, disgusted. Then another, her more worried about animal cruelty. After this a man with a big voice called in, and I must say his response was my favourite, he simply said, chuffed as ever, “Ah! Ah! Ah! it was classic, brilliant!”. Next a Doctor ‘so and so’ decided to give a very educated and psychological response about the symbolism and how it was scary as people were saying they are ready to kill over such matters.

Upon jumping off and collecting our passports we began talking to the policeman on guard at the embassy; an ex professional boxer who had been in South Africa in ’93 and also to five European countries for tournaments. He was a proud yet humble man, not boasting in his achievements or glory days but rather happy he could share in once being in our country as we were now in his. I will never forget his huge hand as he raised it in his gesturing of “five countries” and how my fingers couldn’t  even reach around his hand as he shook mine goodbye.

And so we left, somewhat glad for our return to Kenya, ready for round three of our Moyale nightmare, this time wiser and more prepared. We booked seats sixteen, seventeen and eighteen, close to the front and on the side were wind blew the dust away rather than directly into the window. In our bus the back row was left empty and we laughed as we thought of our ‘growth’ as travellers and decided how if we saw any tourists on their way down Africa, we would definitely recommend the back seats which, we would tell them, they set aside especially for tourists.
 

                                                                   we strapped Brad's GoPro to one of the pigs, joking image courtesy of interoccupy.net
The End  
 

 

Dar es Salaam to Disappointment: Part 4

From Marsabit on, our only way forward seemed to be by 4x4 as the lorries were reluctant to carry tourists.  Thinking we were in for a nice, quick and easy version of the trip we proudly got in to our new Land Cruiser, an absolute beast of a vehicle, and settled in to the nice new seats. As usual, in a short space of time, it became grossly overcrowded and mine and Robbies leg room was cut in half by a huge bag of sugar. To make matters worse Jordan was moved and told that the bag of sugar was to be his new seat. Our already halved leg room was to be shared with ‘daddy-long legs’ himself.

The journey as a whole is difficult to explain. To merely say it was dusty and uncomfortable is a complete understatement. To put it in words will in itself be a weak attempt to do it justice, but I shall try nonetheless. The best way I can explain it is that it was like being on a painful, overcrowded, uncushioned roller-coaster in a dust storm for eight hours. You leave an experience like that feeling like you have reached a new level of mental strength and physical endurance. The corrugated gravel roads shake your entire body relentlessly and your  inability to hold onto anything means every bump causes your body to slam either against the person next to you or into the vehicle itself.  We got off in Moyale, Jordan and I each with a cracked rib and  Robbie suffering from severe back spasms. To make matters worse rain and dust had combined to create mud all over our bags and our hair had stiffened into one big dread.
 

Rob n Jords looking like dusty nomads at a midway stop during our 4x4 trip.

I must add that this particular section of the journey is known amongst travellers as the ‘bone cruncher’ and is considered the most hectic stretch of the entire 'Cape to Cairo'. Having said this, reaching Moyale alive had a triumphant feeling to it and we felt all-conquering ‘knowing’ that, theoretically, it shouldn’t get any worse as far as journeys go.  

Of course Africa was intent on teaching us a lesson and on arrival at the Ethiopian border we were told we had been misinformed about being able to attain a visa upon entry and had to go all the way back to Nairobi to get it. After arguing for thirty minutes to try find a way around, the very unhelpful border official loudly and rather rudely exclaimed “There is no option! You go Nairobi”. Moreover he proudly states that it is a common problem, as if the fact that it’s happened to many travellers should make us feel better about ourselves. Having lost all sense of humour by now I can only think that if its such a common problem, do something about it instead of just sitting there all smug-like and fat in your office with your stupid swivel chair (for me, being jobless, I detest swivel chairs as they symbolise office work and yet I admire them because we all know swiveling on chairs is  cool, especially if you’re on an international call talking about stocks and shares in a nice shiny suit, wearing shoes that have laces and socks that aren't secret). Nevertheless, I keep quiet and we humbly return to Kenya, tails between our legs.

The thought of repeating the ‘bone cruncher’ was eating away at our morale. Typical us; no one would ever dream of having to do this leg once, let alone twice and yet here we were about to do it three times, just for kicks. In fact we were so desperate not to do it again that we looked for alternative routes through Sudan and even Somalia; our logic being that we had more chance of survival in these countries than going back and forth along the terrible roads. Even these, however, meant a substantial amount of backtracking and even returning to Nairobi.

Just as all seemed lost. a life line was given when Chris, a local border hustler, told us of two Americans who phoned their embassy in Addis and managed to organise entry into Ethiopia without a visa. And so, we wasted no time in buying a sim card and dedicatedly began phoning the eight or so different numbers we found for the embassy. The response was typically South African and for the first day the phone just rang and rang. On the second day more of the same until about the one hundred and fiftieth call; an answer. Needless to say despite the best efforts of the very helpful Busi, our embassy obviously didn’t have the same sway as the Americans and we were sent packing, Africa had won the battle; Nairobi, round two.

Ten minutes later we found ourselves booking the one way bus ticket back to Nairobi. A “Twenty four hour” trip. Unfortunately all that was available was the back row and after being warned against taking these seats we niavely, or perhaps  ignorantly, ignored the advice, settling for seats fifty eight, fifty nine and sixty.

The trip back was worse than the trip before, the bus gave us an absolute beating; sitting behind the rear wheel created a see-saw effect, throwing you up and then slamming you down, as if the person on the other end just jumped off when you were at your highest. In fact, it was so bad that Jordan and I found ourselves standing for two hours at one point just to get some respite. Back spasms and cracked ribs flaring up again, we whimpered and whined the entire thousand kilometres back to Kenya’s capital, dehydrated, sore, needing to wee and unable to get a wink of sleep.

Not only had our budget taken a huge dent but our spirits had too. An extra R500 on doing the worst part of the journey three times instead of once was hard to swallow and we arrived in Nairobi battered and bruised, truly a sight for sore eyes.

Dar es Salaam to Disappointment: Part 3

Hoisting my backpack up the lorries ladder, I dodge the red mud left by the pair of huge boots two steps ahead of me. Behind me Jords, Robs and a few others follow suit.

The lorries are of course meant for carrying goods and as a passenger you simply find your place a midst whatever cargo is being carried. Today's choice is a lorry full of various vegetables. Thousands of loose cabbages lie at the rear end of the the lorry and in front of them sit large bags of carrots followed by even larger (about 200kg) bags of potatoes. Of course it's no 'Woolworths' van and all the vegetables are still unwashed and extremely sandy, making for a rather dirty setting.

The three of us are taken in by our surroundings, 'frothing' on the new experience. After five minutes we stop for more cargo and a few more passengers. More of the same massive bags are added, this time it's sugar and rice. Boxes of biscuits, beef cubes and washing powder are also thrown in, making a soapy vegetable aroma. Five or six more people jump on and I count a total of twenty-three men, one women and her baby.

I readjust a few things and make a fairly comfortable bed on the sugar, surrounded by a sea of cabbages. Jords and Robs have settled in on the potatoes and use their bags and the carrots as back rests. Some people sit outside on top of the lorries metal frame and with the roads still nicely tarred the journey starts comfortably enough. Until rain. The grey clouds, once ahead now loom solidly above us and the first few drops begin to fall. It comes quickly and within minutes it's pouring.

The back of the lorry is covered by two plastic covers; the one on the outside is thick and green, strong but old with holes, under this lies a clear sheet that provides the main rain protection. Those sitting above scurry inside and my glorious throne of space is slowly invaded. First an older man joins me exclaiming "Ah we are together". He seems rather impressed at my "picking a space" skills, acknowledging the wisdom beyond my years with a nod and a grunt of approval as he slides in next to me. He seems to find the whole scenario very comical as he laughs at those getting rained on nearer to the front. As the rain continues, more join and my throne becomes more of a footstool as I am pushed further and further off of it.

After a little while the water dripping through the old green cover begins to collect in the clear plastic, creating pools above our heads where it sags between the trucks squared metal frame. In total four pools are created and as the truck moves water 'swishes' from pool to pool. As one is emptied another one fills, and so the risk of it spilling increases. Thus the water becomes like an axe hanging above ones head and with every bit of braking, accelerating and sharp turning, a game is created between the passengers as water flows from pool to pool. Filling is greeted by frantic 'pushing of water' into someone else's pool, who in turn does the same, transferring it elsewhere, and so the game continues. All eyes watch as everyone calculates the risk of getting showered upon  as amounts of water rise and fall. To both safe onlooker and the endangered, it is a more than comical sight. The entertainment makes the wet a lot more bearable and soon teamwork takes over and everyone works together to push the water away from danger, out over the cabbages.

When it clears we make our way to the front, climb out the folded back plastic and sit on the metal frame; the wind icy against our damp clothes. Flat plains as far as the eye can see with a covering of sporadic shrub and thorn trees. Distant mountains to one side, shimmering in the heat. Large herds of cattle guarded by Masai create clouds of rising dust as hundreds of hooves trample the barren earth.

On my left a Masai guards his herd, wrapped in two cloths. The first, a bright pawpaw orange, partly covered by a deep purple outer cloth. He wears a burgundy scarf wrapped around his head with feathers sticking out, almost like an American Indian. Around his ankles, wrists and neck hang many pieces of beaded jewellery. His ears both have huge tunnels, in the right one a feather hangs through and in the left is a shiny metal earring. He holds a a stick, black with green beads. Over his bare chest hangs an AK47, around his waist a long machete in a leather satchel.

The Masai here differ from the more traditional red dress so commonly found elsewhere in Kenya. They seem more nomadic and wild. It feels good to see them, the non-tarnished, non-tourist version of the Zanzibar sell-outs, knowing their machetes are used to protect their cattle and not merely to peel oranges.

The journey continues and the crowd of passengers changes frequently as many get on and off along the way. At one stage we're joined by a whole group of Masai, more traditionally dressed in red with white beads and sandals, their hair braided and dried in a reddish mud. As they get off a more modern Masai gets on, his traditional skirt accompanied by a thick-striped black and white collared shirt and a Taqiyah (Muslim hat). Although his English is good, there is little conversation as his sits quietly chewing his 'Kat'.

As night falls, more and more people get off and when we finally reach our destination, Marsabit, only about five of us remain. The driver checks into his 'Hotel' and we're allowed to sleep in the back. Suddenly the bags of potatoes are not so romantic and provide more of a stone like mattress than anything else. Our excitement warn off, we settle in for another uncomfortable night of minimal sleep and water dodging as the rain continues.

Midway through the night the pool above me gives way, and my sleeping bag is left soaked. Freezing and wet I try escape the even colder metal side of the lorry and snuggle up to Robs attempting to steal some of his body heat. It works to minimal effect and as I slowly drift off back to sleep I think of the days previous passengers and how they'd probably like to know I lost the game of 'water dodging'.

A horrible shot, but hopefully you get a bit of an idea.

Dar es Salaam to Disappointment: Part 2

The drivers 5 o'clock alarm wakes us and we're kicked out onto the streets of Nairobi, deserted and much colder than expected. We wonder around aimlessly for about thirty minutes waiting for the rest of the city to wake up, our lack of warm clothes beginning to take its toll.

As usual, the best English speakers are either hobos, madmen, drunks or all three and so after each consulting, or several of them, we come together and see which pieces of information gathered were most common. From today's drunken ramblings it seems we require a taxi to Isiolo where we will find further transport to the border.

A kind 'piki-piki' (motorcycle-taxi) driver helps us find our minibus where a huge fight breaks out for our bums (to be places on seats I mean). Each tries to convince us their taxi is best and leaving soonest. It ends with a hostile "**** you" to which the insulted replies "you know are so so stupid". We go with him, his answer convincing us of his authenticity. As soon as we've made our decisions everyone is back to best buds and the game of trying to 'win' your customer is over.

We feel good about our choice as everyone has their own seat and it looks like we won't have to fight for space. The welcome leg room of the aisle between myself and Jordan is, however, short lived as a wooden plank is stretched across the gap and a little girl, nervously smiling, is placed between us. Other than this, all is well and I ambitiously buy some yoghurt which in turn gets donated to the street kids begging for "European coin". Their frantic yet joyous sharing is a clear indication that they're unperturbed by it's sourness, unlike it's previous owner.

At Isiolo, transport is not the only thing that changes; the environment is completely different too. Christian prayer meetings, with all the drivers joining hands in a big circle, asking for God's safety before the morning journeys get underway are replaced by sounds of "Allahu akbar" blaring over Mosque speakers. It's dry and windy and everyone is suddenly more 'Arab' looking. It's clearly a poorer area and the environment seems strangely unforgiving.

Sitting in the dry wind, my lips quickly becoming chapped, I watch the bags as Jords and Robdog inquire about the next leg of the journey across the Chalbi desert to the Moyale border. We learn it will take three days and can only be done by 4x4, lorry, or a bus that comes straight from Nairobi, which we've clearly missed. Apparently the first and third leg are done at night to avoid the heat of the desert and the second is done during the day as it crosses and area that is bad for bandits. A police block stops anyone from even attempting to drive through there at night.

I am taken back to the three of us sitting on comfortable couches in Charl and Este's crispy clean white flat in Dar looking at our 'Map of Africa' plotting potential routes. As you go North the roads slowly deteriorate down the hierarchy from Highways to Main Roads to Secondary Roads to 4x4 tracks to "tracks" in Sudan, whatever that means.

The sense of excitement is evident on our faces as we sense the journey is entering a new phase. The adventure of a wilder Africa is beginning and we hurry off to find a lorry that would be leaving sometime tonight.

Dar es Salaam to Disappointment: Part 1

Leaving Arusha, we literally bargained for a whole day to get a cheap bus into Kenya. This was, however, much easier said than done. Being a high tourist area, it is almost impossible to convince driver and conductor alike of our money shortage. Eventually we all just jump on a bus, produce half the fair requested saying "it's all we have" and try look poor; taking our cue from the ever familiar pro's found at every Durban traffic light. The conductor grumpily allows us to stay, much to the approval of the rest of the bus who seem amused and almost 'stoked' that there are three white guys in the world poorer than them.

Before we go, Jord's typical last minute hunger gets the better of him and he decides to quickly hop off and 'stealthily' grab a chapati, away from sight, still trying to live up to our self proclamation of poverty. Unfortunately the bus decides to leave early and Jordan is left scrambling into the already moving bus with two bulging cheeks and half a chapati in his left hand. 

The conductor turns and just says "money money, chapati chapati". We're caught out but he seems almost impressed that 'the tourists' managed to pull one over on him. He graciously, and now laughing, concedes defeat; us the worthy victors. As for the chapati incident, it wouldn't die as quickly as our financial victory and Swahili conversations containing the word "chapati" along with much laughter and glances in our direction were heard for hours to follow.

The conductor shouldn't mind too much anyway as the bus itself is the first semi-empty one we've been on and is apparently more for moving cargo than human beings. In fact, it's the first bus where there are no extra people, goats or chickens shoved into every little space available. It's a nice change and we spread out feeling like we've really landed with our bums in the butter.

Usually one is left feeling quite the opposite to how we are currently; hard done by, hot and bothered, squashed and frustrated. Looking around, I'm often filled with envy as Jords or Robs has more leg space, or a window with a priceless breeze whilst you sit hot and sweaty resembling something of a contortionist.

The reality is, however, that every seat comes with it's own set of problems. Sometimes it's just simply uncomfortable from overcrowding (and let me just explain overcrowding here: I mean where you think there's space for one person, three will squeeze). Sometimes it's a broken seat with no headrest or the person's chair in front, reclined so far back that it cramps your knees, their hair tickling your Adam's apple all the way. Other times you could land up with the classic 'inconsiderate neighbour' who takes up half your seat and uses you as a cushion. He or she may be smelly or perhaps it's something they can't even help like being short. Now this might seem harsh but being a young Caucasian male in Tanzania you're usually rather large in comparison to the rest of the bus and a short person will manage to sort of get underneath you; pushing your arms and shoulders forward with their elbow usually digging into your ribs, making for an extremely unpleasant journey. Other problems include the very common breast feeding mom and her soggy, biscuit-spraying baby or the over inquisitive kid who lifts your eyelids every time you're about to get some precious sleep. Also unless one of us is manning a window, they will all without a doubt, one hundred percent, be closed. African people's tolerance for heat is remarkable and often you'll see someone sitting in a full suit or sweater, the sun blazing with their window shut, totally content in their self-made sauna.

Thus today’s journey could be a lot more comfortable, the only challenge dodging the dripping water from the rain pelting against the vehicle. We did, however, have one more concern on our minds: traveling at night. Traveling by day can be scary enough, and the darkness of night adds considerably to the tension. As you sit staring forward, you witness some of the most hazardous driving on earth. Overtaking is so tight that you can feel the heat of the oncoming headlights. Blind rises and hair-pin bends seem to be viewed purely as occupational challenges and drivers use them to prove their bravery and valour, driving along like absolute madmen. Our only comfort is that it’s usually the biggest who rules the road and luckily we’re in a pretty large bus.

All’s well that ends well, something you truly learn in Africa, and we arrive safely in Nairobi at about one in the morning. The driver allows us to sleep the rest of the night in the bus and so Robbie settles down as Jordan and I set off to quieten the rumbling stomachs. We manage to find a 24hr Chicken and Chips joint, with a massive portion of chips for only R 6. We each eat two. Belly’s warm and full, we set back to the bus, content. The driver has pulled rank and taken the back seat, and we are left to try sleeping across the two sets of chairs either side of the aisle in the middle. It’s uncomfortable but the levitating act is probably good exercise for our fattened ‘boeps’. Either way, a free night is welcome and we drift off to sleep unsure of what adventures tomorrow’s passage to Ethiopia will hold.

The breast feeder and biscuit sprayer, guilty as charged.

The Budget Breakdown

Many have been asking about the 'dental-floss' budget Robdog wrote about, so we decided to clarify a bit...

Traveling is something that we've talked about for many years, and more intensely so over the last while as we begin to make our own ways in life. The idea to do a full 'Cape to Cairo' came into being after Jordan had gone to Zanzibar and back with his brother, Dave. Stories from that trip fueled our desire to do 'The Full Monty' and being proud Durbanites, Durbs to Cairo was born.

The predicament of a student is a profound thing; you have time but no money, yet realise that later you'll have money but no time. Thus we were determined not let the 'financial' side of things hinder us by any means and in all honesty, if anyone knows the Lovemores, being 'hobos' is quite up our alley anyway. So we scraped together all of our life savings; a grand total of R12 000 each.

After looking at flights back from Egypt we set aside R4000 for a ticket, and R2000 for the different visas, leaving us with a mere R6000 budget. Now there are many different ways to look at this:

It could be seen as R 666 per country, as our route would take us through nine countries: SA, Botswana, Zambia, Tanzania, Zanzibar, Kenya, Ethiopia, Sudan and Egypt. Not to mention that Israel is still very much in the plan. On a distance scale this would be 48 cents per kilometre on our 12 500km trek, something that has already increased to 15 500km with detours; both expected and unexpected. All in all we're currently on 38 cents per kilometre.

On a more ridiculous scale it could be six thousand bags of 10 Kenyan-Shilling peanuts, or twenty-four thousand South African Chappies, a currency I use to distinguish the value of anything I do or buy. More realistically, on an estimated hundred day trip, probably more, but for simple math, it equals R60 a day. Now on one hand this may seem a lot, as we realise that many people in Africa would kill to earn such 'good' money and so we are, to some degree, still very well off in our surroundings. Not only this, but it is by no means the most hectic version of 'roughing it' as in a fit of madness Jordan and Dave made it back from Zanzibar to Nelspruit on R750 (4 countries, 5 500km, 10 days).

On the other hand, if you look at the overall expenses, you'll see that the R60 disappears fairly quickly through transport and accommodation costs. In terms of a food budget, we are often left with just enough money for two R10 meals a day with a snack of peanuts or a samosa in between. As for the meals themselves, they are often less than impressive and there is usually a limited choice of one or two standard meals, country wide. Thus our travel mode has been mainly hitching with the trucks, a service you pay for, or using the cheapest local transport; usually an overcrowded bus. Our accommodation has mainly been cheap motels, usually turning out to be shebeens or brothels, at about R10 a night, the equivalent of a night at a homeless shelter back in SA. Other than this, we've camped or slept at borders and petrol stations or on beaches and in buses. We've scooped some nights with sympathetic truck drivers or locals, being taken back to their humble homes, often highlights of the trip. On occasion, we've also stayed with South African ex-pat hosts, in the lap of luxury, often a much needed break.

Needless to say our entertainment budget has been less than minimal, although in some ways our budget has created that very entertainment itself. All in all it has added an interesting dynamic to our trip. Something like the wrong R250 bus trip eats into four days of the R60 budget, yet a free lift can mean a night of indulging in excess food or a comfy bed and not the concrete floor. Slops breaking, teeth falling out (Robbie) or cut fingers requiring stitches (Jordan) can create an interesting thought or choice process as one ways up the pros and cons of possibly losing a finger versus filling a more than often empty belly.